How To Build Connection With Your Kids

Your relationship with your children is as important as your relationship with your spouse.

You need to have a strong bond with your children so you can connect when troubles arise and understand each other. You need your children to know you and your partner are there for them. You need your children to be willing to talk to you about their problems.

All that comes with connection.

Here are three ways to strengthen your existing bond or start building one with your children.

  • Converse. Spend a couple of nights a week playing card or board games as a family. If your children are in school, ask how their day was. Ask your spouse how his or her day was. If anyone has any stories to share, listen. Make your children a part of your life instead of sharing stories about your work with your spouse alone.
  • Listen. Encourage your children to talk about their issues. Let them do the talking and listen without passing judgment or scolding for the poor choices you feel your child may have made. Dig a little deeper and share experiences you remember from when you were younger that you feel may have bearing on your child’s problem. Show your children you are ready to listen and help them find solutions.
  • Empathize. When your children are struggling, sit down with them and make it known you understand how they feel. If you have an experience to share about how you overcame a similar situation, share it. Reflect your child’s emotions and ask for explanations if you do not understand how they feel. Once your child feels you understand their emotions and do not judge them for their feelings, they will be more likely to come to you with further problems, knowing you will offer guidance without scolding or putting them down.

Build your relationship as a family. You and your spouse should both be there for your children. When your children know both of you are understanding, their relationship with you and your spouse will be equally strong.

Keep the bonds between you, as a parent, and your children strong. Connect.

Happy Parenting!

25 thoughts on “How To Build Connection With Your Kids

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  1. Great post! These are good suggestions seemingly for any relationship dynamic between two people, but especially between parents and their children as you mention in your post. We either overlook the importance of active listening when people are talking about their day or we get too wrapped up in our own story to remember to inquire about someone else’s world.


    Liked by 1 person

  2. I will definitely have to work on the listen part. I listen, but I have a habit of also scolding for any decisions that were obviously wrong. (For example, my husband says something mean to someone, I’ll say “you shouldn’t have said that”). A work in progress for me, but I’m hoping to improve.
    Thank you for sharing! This is very helpful.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I know that feeling! I find it helpful and constructive to have a discussion about what you are scolding for with kids (depending on age) and spouse, as that might lead to discoveries about how the target of your scolding feels or why they said what they did.

      It is always good to have a second viewpoint!


  3. I love this! I think it’s so important for your kids to feel like you understand them. The best way to achieve that seems like empathy to me!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Jaya, – Really insightful & helpful post. You seem wise beyond your years and I am very impressed with the respect you show to your commenters with the responses you post back. I really enjoy your blog – and you sound like an awesome parent! I am leaving here tonight uplifted and enriched – thanks to you! Sincerely, Chip

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I wish that my parents had taken the time to listen to me and to allow me to experience and express emotions rather than teaching me to repress and hide every emotion except happy, because happy was the only acceptable emotion that showed how good they were as parents.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Communicating all emotions is very important to building connection and connection is what shows you are a good parent. When you are a good parent, you do not have to prove that to anyone; it shows.

      I am so sorry you were not given leave to express yourself. But it is never too late to start and I hope you have found your happiness. 😊

      Thank you for sharing your experiences!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I love the idea behind this post! I think that connection is such an important thing in relationships, no matter who that is with. I wish people would spend more time chatting or playing a board game then on their phones etc… Thank you for sharing this!:)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh yes, phones are real obstacle to overcome. There is not much communication when the family spends the evening wrapped up in their little bubbles instead of being together in one.

      Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts!


  7. Some people shouldn’t be parents. They are to full of themselves. I was lucky. I was raised by my grandparents. For me the key was to recognize my weaknesses and make them stronger. That little person will look up to you for a while. In their eyes you are their hero…..for a while. Do not let that window of opportunity pass.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. People who are full of themselves rarely have time for their children; it seems as if children ought not be a part of their lives.

      Being able to teach a little person and be there hero is a great opportunity and not one anyone should ever let pass.

      Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts!


  8. Listening is so important. I grew up with 2 parents who were not listeners. Even now as they are older, not only do they fail to listen but actively talk over me throughout our weekly “chats”.

    It has driven a wedge between us. I have tried in the past, many times to explain this, to tell them important things but they seem incapable of hearing me.

    It has definitely affected my relationship with them.

    Great article, very insightful

    Liked by 2 people

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