Respect Goes Both Ways

Respect: To feel or show honor or esteem for; hold in high regard. To show consideration for; avoid intruding upon or interfering with.

Disrespect: To show lack of Respect for. Lack of Respect or esteem.

Discipline: Treatment that corrects or punishes. Subject to discipline; train; control.

Punish: To cause to undergo pain, loss, or suffering for a crime or wrongdoing. To treat harshly or injuriously.

Chastise implies corporal punishments, and connotes both retribution and correction.

Correct suggests punishment for the purpose of overcoming faults.

Discipline suggests punishment that is intended to control or establish habits of self- control.

Chasten implies the infliction of tribulation in order to make one obedient, meek, etc. “He chastens and hastens His well to make known.”

We hear about children respecting their parents and we hear about what happens to them when they do not; children can be sent to their rooms, spanked, grounded, or scolded.

But what about PARENTS respecting their CHILDREN?

If children must respect their parents and are punished for not doing so, parents should return the favor. Parents should model the behavior they want to see in their children.

No one punishes parents for yelling at their children or taking away toys yet children are punished for screaming and taking things from their siblings. Perhaps if parents were subjected to the same treatment their children, they would learn to see things through their children’s eyes.

If one child bullies another, it is considered wrong. But if a parent enforces a rule by bullying them with the use of force and threats (Example: spanking) it is considered alright. If a child falls down and cuts himself, the wounds are treated and kissed. But the marks inflicted by a spanking are not worthy of comfort. Are they not marks that hurt the child and cause pain? Are they not marks deserving to be hugged?

Adults are considered to know what is right. They are the ones who judge what is wrong and what is right, and they are the ones who punish, and speak of respect.

Most adults respect other adults. They speak of respect to their children. They talk of a duty a child has to respect their parents. Yet those parents are also sometimes the ones who contradict themselves when they punish their children with spanking, disrespecting them with violence.

From the definitions of words such as punishchastise, and discipline, it sounds like children are animals to be trained to obey, corrected and controlled when they do not follow the rules set for them. Are children equal to the puppies we train?

Humans see themselves as above animals because they can speak and do many things animals cannot. But we show our animalistic sides when we train and control and correct our children with the use of violence as if they are nothing more then a bad dog. What goes through a dog’s simple mind when they are smacked or scolded for doing wrong?

X equals smack equals pain. Not doing X will result in no pain.

What child in their right mind wants to feel the pain of a spanking?

It is fear that controls them. Disciplining and punishing a child by fear and pain is another form of bullying, which simply means to use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants.

That is spanking in a nutshell. And it is not respectful. There is nothing respectful about violence and fear, and no honor in the action of inflicting both upon a small child to correct and control them by the use of superior strength to intimidate and influence them to obey and respect.

If parents want respect, as they see themselves fit to receive, return the favor and treat your child as you would like to be treated. If you would open your arms to a person who would smack you and embrace the pain and tears, do as you will. You are already in a bad spot. But if you consider it wrong and disrespectful, steer away from spanking and find another, non-violent way to teach your children how to behave. Behave simply means to act or conduct oneself in a specified way, especially toward others.

Behave yourself and keep the violence in check. Resist the urge to spank and give your children the respect they deserve in the same way you do.

Respect goes both ways.

 

12 thoughts on “Respect Goes Both Ways

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  1. What an interesting perspective. The things we punish our kids for are the same things we do often without even realizing it. I agree that if we could see things from our children’s eyes we’d discipline differently, and probably be less judgmental.

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  2. Interesting thoughts. I’m definitely not for spanking, as it is not effective. There are much better ways! And I think yelling is also a form of disrespect.Good post!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. There are better ways, and I love the gentle parenting community. Their stories are always so inspiring.

      Yes, yelling is a form of disrespect. I know it can be hard to control at times but apologizing after an outbreak is one of the best things to do to fix it.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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  3. I like your delivery of this moralistic blog. It is great. I’ve often thought that we are very hard on ourselves, in the Victorian sense of denying what we are; imperfect beings. You are right respect is a mutual thing. We all er, as Charlotte Bronte so cleverly showed us in Jane Eyre, and saying sorry is a great way of acknowledging this as we realise it is impossible to be perfect as children and as parents.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Victorians, I feel, were famous for denying any imperfections in themselves. I believe accepting ourselves as imperfect is a golden road to happiness. Imperfect is beautiful, especially when one is a parent. With imperfection, you can learn.

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  4. Respect is earned. I do not believe it is mutual.

    Breakups within relationships easily occur when one cannot respect the other, because they simply demand it to be at the right amount.

    Love is the mutual flow between two people. It is because respect is based on performance, while love is based on presence. To be present when one is there for another, versus doing something worthwhile to “obtain respect”; and which would you look for?

    Should you be hurt and in a hospital, and someone came to visit you. Would you ask them, “Where’s my favorite meal that you usually bring?” That refers to respect, and use. It could be that the person who came to visit was in a rush, out of concern for you, and they had no clear mind to get your “favorite meal”. What should be appreciated is the recognition of the face that is before you in that hospital, and for a simple reason: that person cares and loves you.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. With children, I think the best way to teach respect and earn respect, is to model respect. That goes for all behavior. We learn from each other.

      I enjoyed reading your thoughts on this and especially agree with you on appreciating that person cares and loves you. With that, there is usually respect.

      Liked by 2 people

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